By Debbie Peterson – Speaker, Trainer, Coach and Confidence Expert to the fed-up midlife woman looking to step onto her path of purpose!

The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you forge with yourself. That relationship is the foundation for anything you can ever dream of being, doing or having and yet it’s the one you often spend the least time tending.

Here are the Top 10 ways to build a healthier relationship with YOU:

  1. Show yourself a little compassion. What would you say to that little 5 year old girl inside? The angry tirade about your clothes not fitting, your lack of accomplishing what you want or anything else going wrong in your life does absolutely nothing to move you towards getting what you want. In fact, it does the exact opposite. If it were a little girl or a good friend in front of you, what would you say to help her along?
  2. Know you will make mistakes. You’re human and you’re going to make mistakes. It’s inevitable, and as a matter of fact, it’s helpful and healthy. Mistakes are how you know you are taking action and not stuck. They are how you learn and grow as a person. It’s a great sign of confidence when you are willing to move forward and take a risk for something you want, knowing that if it doesn’t come about that’s ok too.
  3. Listen to your gut. I know you’ve heard the voice. When you open the fridge to grab that one little piece of cheese (again) or the “feeling” you know that there is something you need to do, or perhaps not do. That’s your gut, your intuition or whatever you choose to label it. Listen to it. It’s your unconscious giving you direction to get what you want. It’s trying to help. Let it.
  4. Take quiet time for yourself every day. It today’s world of do more, be more, have more the best advice I can tell you to achieve what you want is to take some time each day to do less. Yes, less. We fill ourselves with busyness but not the time to actually be quiet and allow our unconscious to speak and help us understand what we really want and what is most important. Wanting everything doesn’t allow you to achieve anything. Spend some time each day being mentally still. It can be as little as 5 minutes as long as you are doing it consistently each day. You can build up to more time. This can be meditating, walking, a cup of coffee or tea in a quiet space, whatever allows you to be by yourself and your mind to still.
  5. Forge relationships that support you. Who has your back? Who are your “go to” people? Your posse, your tribe? Find relationships that build you up, raise the bar, and support you. This can be personal or professional relationships. Even virtual support such as websites, E-courses or books count.
  6. Ditch the relationships that don’t support you. Who are the energy vampires and drama queens in your life? Who are the people that suck the life out of you? Literally. Eliminate or limit your time with them if they have to be part of your life. Have a support routine in place for when you do encounter them. Maybe it’s someone you can’t get out of your office. Ever. Meet in a conference room and walk away when you’re done. Perhaps you don’t stay at their house when you visit, but a hotel gives you a bit of space. See what I mean?
  7. Focus on what nourishes you Spiritually, Mentally and Emotionally. What is it that makes you feel lighter? It could be music, church, books, classes, time with friends, walking, singing, dancing, whatever. Make sure that you are paying attention to your spiritual self, mental self and emotional self by supplying it with activity that nourishes its development.
  8. Allow for play. This one was a hard one for me but last summer I totally dove into play and loved every minute of it. It made me feel more confident and it also directly stirred my creativity for my business. What does play mean to you? Take some time to engage in it consistently. You might check out a theater troupe, an organized sport or maybe interpretive dance or hula hooping. Something that allows your inner creativity, that creativity you had as a child, to emerge.
  9. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. If you are going to grow as a person, you have to be willing to take a walk outside of your comfort zone. Period. If you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always got – I love that one! What is one thing you would like to do but you’re scared to do it? Go do it. Remember #1 and #2 if it doesn’t turn out the way you planned. Be flexible.
  10. Care for yourself physically. The attention you pay to the outside of your body translates into care for the inside of your body. Eat well, sleep enough, exercise and be aware of what you put on your body and around your body. Make sure it nourishes you. Get your hair styled, nails done, a new pair of shoes (or two) because it’s an investment in your relationship with yourself, both inside and out.


Until next time, here’s wishing you the clarity you deserve! Be good to yourself.



Grab MORE clarity HERE!


Need an inspirational speaker for your group or event? Nothing gives me more pleasure than to connect with a group of women and share meaningful information and my stories and know that a shift in thinking has occurred! Speaking to hundreds of women at Universities, Networking Events and Corporate Events has allowed me to serve my customers, those in the audience and those who invited me in, and deliver an inspirational experience. Email me at to inquire about booking me as a speaker.

Tired of trying to figure it out all by yourself? No one should have to take the steps of transformation alone. You have everything you need inside of you and just need help removing what covers up your brilliance! Let me be the one to customize a program just for you. Click HERE to schedule your FREE “Getting To Know You” Session and let’s explore together.