Whether you are a careerist, own your own business, or are a solopreneur, no one knows you better than you! There’s a caveat, however. First, you need to be aware of what is going on in your life and involve a genuine curiosity. Second, when you are in tune with this awareness, you start to make different decisions for yourself and become more reliant on yourself than external inputs.

This allows you to know what decisions are aligned with who you are. You understand what success truly means for you so that you aren’t chasing everything, you pursue the things that matter to you. It allows you to have faith in yourself and step up and say yes to the right opportunities, and conversely, say no to the ones that aren’t a fit.

Self-empowerment is you taking charge of you. It’s about saying, “this is what I want for myself,” and making positive choices and actions that move you in that direction. It is an awareness of where exactly you are to what you want personally and professionally. It is also understanding your strengths and weaknesses to move from there forward.

As a high-performing woman in business, your first resource is always you. You are building up your own resilience first. So how does that happen? I’m so glad you asked! Here are three approaches to empowering yourself in leadership and life!


  1. Self-Empowerment by Regulating Your Internal State. On good days and bad days, when things are going wonderful, and things are going awful, we feel a certain way like tidal movements in the ocean; our inner state ebbs and flows. You have a say in the regulations of that movement. Paying attention to your internal state and approaching it through a lens of curiosity. Perhaps you have a big project going on with a looming deadline, and today you woke up and just weren’t “feeling it.” Looking underneath the surface to see what may be going on. Is there self-doubt creeping in? Are you feeling anxious? Maybe you’re not sure if you can pull off something important? Or perhaps you’re having some doubts about whether your work is really valuable?

If you notice any of these feelings, take note. Ask yourself why they might be coming up. And then ask yourself what you can do differently in your next step. Journaling, meditating, having someone to talk with can all be useful tools to uncover what really may be going on.


  1. Self-Empowerment in Your Network. It’s been said, and you’ve probably heard, that you are the average of the top 5 people that you spend the MOST time with. It’s simply the law of averages at work. The people around us are energetic beings. They put out energy, and we pick it up. Don’t believe me? Have you ever met someone for the first time, and they creeped you out? Yeah, that. How about walking into a room, and you just knew something was going on but wasn’t sure what. You felt it. That’s energy at work.

We must surround ourselves with the people that get us, that have our back, that will encourage us and raise the bar for us. Our responsibility is to make sure that we make the right decisions to have a crew that is FOR us.; because not everyone who is WITH us is FOR us. Do you get that? You empower yourself by choosing the right people to surround you. Making intentional decisions and sometimes hard choices about who gets a space in your inner circle and who you gracefully have to let go of.

Brene Brown talked about a conversation with her daughter about the people she surrounded herself with. It went something like this, and I paraphrase. Think of the people you are with, and each time they do something kind or supportive of you, you put a marble in a jar. A positive jar, so to speak. Each time someone does something that isn’t kind or supportive, you take a marble out of the jar and put it in a separate jar. The negative jar. Who are the people around you that have the most in their positive jar? Those are the kind of people you need in your corner, and if you don’t have enough of them, how can you find more?


  1. Self-Empowerment in Your Feedback. Any time we take action, there is a reaction. It could be a positive or negative consequence. The thing is, though, that even a negative result isn’t bad. When something happens that we wish didn’t, we have a chance to learn something from it to take different actions in the future. Maybe you got passed over for a promotion. Perhaps the huge client you were pursuing signed with someone else. Unfortunate things happen, and we are meant to experience them because they are designed to help take us to the next level. It’s ok to wallow for a moment at your impossible situation, but then you need to get up, dust yourself off, and get back to it. What’s done is done, and you only have what’s in front of you. What will you do differently as a result?

If you got passed over for the promotion, I’m sure it stings. What would you do differently the next time that will give you an edge? That is the thread worth pursuing. Can you get feedback from the hiring manager or human resources? Is there a conversation you can have with your boss? If the potential client went with someone else, why did they? Is it this vendor had something you didn’t? Is it something you can offer?

Feedback is a gift but one that we sometimes have a hard time looking at. It’s not failure; it’s just feedback. So how can you empower yourself by incorporating new information the next time?

Now, none of these is a one-and-done. Instead, these are mindset shifts that we need to monitor daily. And, let me say, you know when a change needs to happen because you feel it. So, what can you do that will allow you to empower yourself today? Which one of these can you incorporate to rise to the next level of your leadership and life?

I’d also love to hear what suggestions you have to empower yourself and as a woman in business or emerging leader. Please leave a comment below.

Until the next time, here’s wishing you the Clarity and the empowerment you deserve!


Do you want to have more influence in your leadership and life? Would you like to be surrounded by people who get you and want to support you to the next level? Join the Clarity Community today and take the steps to become the CEO in your own career! Check out www.TheClarityCommunity.com.