Welcome back! This week we are getting into the nitty gritty of what can hold you back in your career and leadership, and mostly without you ever knowing it! Read on.
Have you ever felt like your past experiences are like unwanted luggage in your professional journey? You’re not alone. Addressing past experiences, especially when they cast a shadow over your present and threaten your future potential, is a must for any leader. Why? Because those pesky negative emotions and limiting beliefs can be the invisible chains holding you back from making the impact you want to in your career, business, or leadership.
Let’s dive into this, shall we?
Why Letting Go Matters: Imagine driving with your gaze fixed on the rearview mirror. Not the safest way to travel, right? Similarly, in your career, constantly looking back (especially when doing it subconsciously) can hinder your ability to lead effectively in the present and stay relevant in the future. Past experiences, particularly the negative ones, can become mental obstacles, affecting decision-making, team dynamics, and even personal growth, many times without you knowing about it.
What Are Negative Emotions? Negative emotions – we’ve all had our dance with them. They’re feelings like anger, sadness, fear, and guilt that bubble up in response to perceived threats or challenges at work. While they’re normal and part of being human, the problem arises when they linger or we hold onto them. When this happens, it’s like planting a seed in your mind that says, “This is what I want to find.” You actually program your mind to seek more of it.
Let’s say, in your early career, you led a project that didn’t pan out. That sting of failure might morph into a fear of taking risks. Fast forward to now, as a leader, this fear could prevent you from championing more innovative ideas or making bolder decisions, limiting your and your team’s potential.
How to Deal with Negative Emotions:
- Acknowledge and Label: First, recognize these emotions. Are you feeling anxious? Frustrated? Disappointed? Naming them reduces their power and helps in processing them effectively.
- Allow Yourself to Feel: This is crucial. Don’t shove these emotions aside or bury them. Feel them, understand them. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. This acceptance is a powerful step in emotional processing.
- Reflect and Learn: Every emotion has a story, and they come up for a reason. What’s yours saying? Is it a realistic assessment or an outdated script? Understanding the ‘why’ behind your feelings is key to learning from them.
- Reframe and Replace: This is where your high-impact mindset can shine. Turn “I failed at this” into “I learned something valuable from this.” It’s all about changing the narrative and walking away with a new nugget of information.
- Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: Be present in the now. This isn’t about forgetting the past but about not letting it control your present. Treat yourself with kindness – leadership is a journey, not a sprint.
Separate from negative emotions but still linked is Forgiveness. An often overlooked but vital aspect of dealing with past experiences, particularly in leadership, is the power of forgiveness.
Sometimes, the weight holding you back isn’t just your own emotions or failures but also unresolved feelings toward others who may have impacted your journey. It could be a former boss who didn’t recognize your potential, a colleague whose actions led to a project’s failure, or even a personal relationship that spilled over into your professional life.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing what happened. It’s about releasing the hold that this resentment has on you so that you can move forward. My personal favorite is the Hawaiian process of Ho’oponopono. You can grab your recording here.
You get to choose what happens next
Is it time to unpack that emotional baggage and travel light or do you wish to lug it around a bit more? I hope you choose the former!
By acknowledging and learning from your past, you can transform your leadership journey and make a real impact. Remember, the only way to move forward is to start walking. So, what step will you take today to let go of the past and stride confidently into your future as a leader?
Until the next time, here’s wishing you the Clarity you deserve so you can make the impact you desire!